when I realise something..

time : where were you?

noto : housemate back..
noto : went out to tok wif him

time : then go talk to him la
time : always chat half way disappear de wor..
time : X-(

noto : tok finish liao

time : we also finish talking liao

noto : fine

time : >:P

noto : >:P>:P

time : dont you think you're selfish?

noto : abit
noto : tat's y i said im not ready

time : if I dont like you liao you also dont care de lor..

noto : y suddenly wanna bring this up again ler?
noto : i do care
noto : but then

time : are we gonna end up here?

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

time : we had an argue

friend : when did it happen actually?
friend : today?

time : guess the prob has been there from the begining
time : just never see it when in love
time : then lastnight I found out and think we should talk bout it
time : and maybe today we both were quite moody because of exam
time : then we argue bout it
time : I told him he's selfish
time : and he said he knew it
time : do you think selfish is a very big prob?
time : cause before this I always told myself, I've found a perfect guy
time : nothing could stop us
time : then suddenly the selfish thing pop up
time : and I dont know why is it so unbearable
time : do you think it's a big deal for being selfish?

friend : you asking me because you trust me right?

time : of course

friend : and allow me to speak freely

time : alright
time : that's what I need you to

friend : how much do you know this guy my dear

time : haha..

friend : you only know him tru sms, online chatting

time : I know you're gonna say this

friend : and you havent even met him yet

time : yaya

friend : i don know bout you, but to me, that's a real big problem for me

time : I somehow think I cant accept it because I've been pampered by my friends
time : all my close friends and family will always chin zhao me a lot
time : at first I feel he chin zhao me a lot
time : till I found out he's selfish too

friend : no no no wait, before going into that...
friend : allow me to finish my point first

time : okok

friend : you see, the first step itself is alr wrong, which i think it is, at least i think so
friend : you don know him much, in in terms of, you haven really communicate, talk to him in person yet. face to face. and how much can you trust a realtionship like tht. and be calm and think bout it, hw much convinced you are to have this kinda relationship?

time : yaya
time : that's the prob

friend : you really convinced that, you and him, is in a relationship?
friend : you really think that?

time : I dont

friend : you don't right, so he is not your bf, can i say that?

time : yes
time : haha..

friend : yes he is? or yes you agree with me?

time : agree with you
time : actually I knew all that

friend : you knew, everybody knows
friend : and why would you still wanna be involved with him with your true feelings?

time : I'm weak at this
time : I cant control myself

friend : juz wan you to think bout one thing that, how much do you know this guy

time : I know I dont know him much
time : that's why the prob now
time : I dont know why everytime I face him I'll give true feelings
time : I really cant help myself
time : then in college.. you know..
time : I dont really have true friends
time : suddenly feel pathetic for myself

friend : the pathetic thing in life is to feel pathetic for yourself

time : agree

friend : first and foremost, don feel pathetic for yourself first, there's nothing to be so pathetic of.
friend : everyone has problems, problems surface, we face it, and we fix it
friend : but first identify the problem first.
friend : the very very first problem that i notice is that you don know this guy much.

time : maybe let me tell you how he treat me first?

friend : ok, spit it out

time : ok. as I told you we share a lot in common
time : we talk bout everything
time : that kills my boredom
time : even in class, we sms to kill each others boredom
time : that's a thing a friend could share
time : then we'll take care of each others study
time : he'll guide me which website to search info for assignment, where to study..
time : when I said I couldnt understand the lecture he'll explain or try to find out the things for me. he even send me his lecture notes
time : then of course we were like normal couples share bout everyday stuff like have you had your lunch and all that..
time : a kinda 24hrs care from a person who know you a lot(although he seem to be a stranger)
time : just because we share a lot of thinking
time : we really think it's unbelievable when we can guess each others thought or will speak out before the other
time : that feeling is like having a twin sibling found after 20years of lonely life in this planet
time : then I know I was addicted to it
time : maybe till now I still very attached to it
time : trying to pull myself out
time : so you might think we know each other not long enough
time : but sharing all these in common, we're really like sharing the same brain which we could think and solve problem together in the way we both think it should be
time : the feeling when we know each for 1week is already like few years
time : the only thing we didnt know bout each other is just the years we've been through at different part on earth
time : we both believes in horoscope

friend : and he did mention that you are his gf?

time : nope

friend : ok. you cont with what you wanna say first....

time : we know bout ourselves and each other's character from horoscope
time : we see things in the same perspective
time : even you and me knowing each other for so long but we might still have different opinion sometimes right?
time : but he and I merely have this kinda prob
time : I think this is the part why ppl couldnt understand how we could get into a relationship so fast
time : your comment pls

friend : did it ever occur to you that, he actually has a real gf there, and was juz fooling with you? i m not saying that he is, juz keeping the extreme possiblities in head

time : I dont think he has so much time to have another gf at the other side because most of his time was chatting with me

friend : did it ever occur to you that, when we know someone very new, we juz present our best self to them, to impress them, to get their attention, but that so called besf self of us, is actually not the real person that lies underneath

time : ya
time : always thought of that
time : that's why the prob now
time : secret reveals..

friend : for example, when i know someone, i juz be polite, caring to this fren, as i juz know him or her, and i juz wanna impress her, so whatever he or she says, i will juz agree with him or her

time : haha..
time : ya
time : but what I meant between us for sharing the same thought is not like what you think
time : I know what you mean
time : not that prob
time : if I really dont agree with that I will just say no
time : I'm not that blind yet
time : when somebody speaks out your mind
time : you'll know
time : whether he's true
time : when you never give clues, and someone is telling the exact thing in your mind
time : dont you think that's unbelievable?
time : and it didnt happen once
time : but most of the time

friend : did it ever occur to you that, when in love, you are so blind, and even if some problem happens, you juz cover it for him

time : I did although I still not agree with it

friend : i understand, i totally understand your feelings

time : and I'll tell him if I dont like it
time : strictly

friend : but how would you wanna proceed further with the fact that, you haven even met him?

time : we plan to meet after exam
time : but after this thing happen
time : I doubt if I should still meet him
time : maybe meeting him will change my mind?
time : maybe he's a bad guy from somewhere wanna cheat me?
time : should I go out with him?
time : should I trust a stranger like him?
time : all these are running in my mind still
time : I havent make decision
time : I just want myself to judge whether he worth it

friend : ok

time : am I awake?
time : or am I blind?

friend : i don know

time : ok
time : let God decides
time : see how our decision is after exam
time : we'll talk in details after exam
time : that's our commitment